


Wounds Too Deep

by DreamingKate



Category: Glee
Genre: Depression, M/M, Stillbirth, Talk of Suicidal Thoughts, death of a child
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-03
Updated: 2014-07-03
Packaged: 2018-02-07 05:39:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1887033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DreamingKate/pseuds/DreamingKate
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the baby was still born, everything broke.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wounds Too Deep

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt by anonymous: Kurt and Blaine’s surrogate has a still born, and Blaine become serverly depressed

Everything had been going so well. The nursery had been decorated in a soft butter yellow and Kurt had painstakingly painted white stripes throughout the room. Cooper had made a mobile with bow ties which Blaine had ben thrilled about and instantly hung up over the crib. They had just had dinner with their surrogate, Nina, the night before. 

Around three in the morning, she had called and sobbed that she thought the baby wasn’t moving. 

Kurt had gripped his phone a little tighter and Blaine sat up in bed, his eyes wide with fear. They had hurried to the hospital when it was confirmed. The baby had died in the womb. Nina had sobbed out apologies as she delivered the body, completely devastated. It wasn’t anyone’s fault, just something that happened. Kurt carefully took his daughter’s body and gently ran his fingers down her little face, over her nose and closed eyes, tracing her chubby cheeks. She was absolutely beautiful, she was a perfect little girl. It was painful to hand her body back to the doctors, he placed a small kiss on her forehead and looked at her one last time. 

Blaine refused to even be in the same room. 

A few days after they had arrived home, Kurt woke up to a loud noise from down the hall. He shot up in bed, hand shooting out to find Blaine’s spot in bed empty. Another crash made him jump up and hurry down the hallway, pausing outside of the nursery. For days, they had both avoided going anywhere near the room. 

"Blaine?" Kurt whispered, slowly opening the door. "Honey?"

The beautiful nursery was all but destroyed. The crib was tipped on it’s side, curtains ripped down, stuffed animals shredded, and Blaine stood in the middle trying to rip apart a blanket. His eyes were wide and wild and he let out sharp whimpers as the cloth teared with a loud rip. 

"Blaine," he jumped forward and grabbed his husband’s arms, holding on tighter as he screamed and tried to fight him off. "Please sweetheart. Please."

"Get off!" Blaine let out in a shriek. "Don’t touch me!"

Kurt just held on tighter, wrapping his arms around Blaine’s chest as he screamed out all his pain and frustration. They sunk to the floor, Blaine screaming until he couldn’t scream anymore and just dissolved into heart wrenching sobs. Blaine’s struggles slowed and he clung tightly to his husband’s arms, shaking. 

"It’s okay," Kurt whispered into his ear, rocking him gently. 

"No it’s not," Blaine choked out, tears streaming down his cheeks. "We lost our baby. She was going to sleep in here, say her first words, walk, be a fucking person and no she’s gone. It’s not fucking fair!"

"It’s not," Kurt tightened his hold and Blaine shuddered painfully. 

"And…and I didn’t…" Blaine’s body shook and his eyes went glassy. "I never saw her. I never held her. I didn’t want to see our daughter."

"It’s okay, I understand," Kurt pressed a kiss to his temple, continuing to rock him and run his fingers through his hair. "It was hard, I understand why you wouldn’t want to."

"And we cremated our first child," Blaine whispered. "And I never even saw her. I can’t help but think…think that maybe somewhere…she thinks that I don’t love her."

"I know you loved her, love her, more than anything. It was overwhelming is all."

"She was beautiful right?" Blaine’s voice cracked when Kurt nodded. "Every second I’m here, every breath I take just reminds me that she’s not able to be here. Fuck Kurt…I would do anything, anything, to give my life for hers. I would die in a heartbeat if it meant she could come back.”

Kurt couldn’t answer, he just held the broken man tightly in his arms. The air in the room felt heavy with heartbreak, pressing down on them and making them feel like they might splinter under the pressure. Part of their family had been ripped away and the wound was almost too deep to heal. 

He wished he could say something and make it all better, but just looking at Blaine breaking down he knew he couldn’t. He had no idea how to even start making this better.


End file.
